Life is *not* fair

As an adult, I know that life is not fair. I accept that, because I have no other choice, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.

We are working on remodeling a pool deck. It is a complicated job, but we will get it done eventually. The folks we are working for are long time friends of the family. They are very nice people. They helped my father in law when he was starting out his concrete business, making work for him so he could feed his family. Bill's parents used to square dance with them. They are just downhome, real folks. The life is unfair part is that the husband was recently diagnosed with what the doctor told them was called "The Terminator". He has a brain tumor. It is inoperable. They flew to California last week to see another surgeon, hoping beyond hope for a different diagnosis. Unfortunately there was no good news for them. Damn.

We went through this with Bill's father. We watched as he declined, all the while determined to beat the disease that finally took his life. It was the most horrible thing I have ever experienced. I am a take charge kind of person, who fixes things. Being unable to do anything to help my father in law was incredibly difficult. Watching my mother in law suffer the anguish of a wife unable to save her husband was beyond painful.

Now, every day when we go to the job, here is this lovely lady whose husband is going to die. I see it written on her face. She is trying to be brave, and she is doing a fine job, but I can see it nonetheless. She is terrified. What can you say to someone who is going to lose the love of their life in such a hideous and painful way? They have been married for nearly fifty years. She will be lost. It is horribly depressing for everyone. The only bit of advice I could offer wasn't very good. I told her that at least they knew, and they had the chance to spend that time together, and love each other.

If life were fair, some murderer would have this awful tumor, and die a slow painful death. But life is not fair. I really hate this. All we can do is do the best we can on their pool deck, and hope that it gives him some enjoyment.

Life is not fair....