We are working on one of those "steaming load of Karma"jobs right now. It is a medium sized patio, shaped sort of like a grand piano, swoopy and curvy. There was a step outside their back door. We tore out the old patio, and step, and graded their yard so that the water would run off the patio and away from the house. Sounds good so far, yes? Well, just wait for it. It gets much better ;)
While the boys set up the rest of the patio. I actually took time out from my StampMonkey nap time and made myself useful. I got to put the step back in. It was the very first step I ever did all by my self. I was very careful, and it was beautiful. I think DH may have promoted me to a pimple on a finisher's ass after he inspected my work. He actually said it looked good. High praise from Mr. Grumpy Butt. Well, Mr Annoying Man (AKA: The Client- AKA: AM) came home from work, and what do you suppose he did?? Anyone?? His annoying ass opened that back door and he stepped in the big middle of my beautiful step and crushed about 8 inches of it right off. WTF was he thinking?? He said he didn't even step on it, he just sorta touched it with his foot... uh yeah sure... then why is it all crushed and ruined?? He said he couldn't believe that after all that time, it was still so soft. I secretly, in the darkest part of my mind, hoped that he fell down and hurt himself a little when he crushed my step. I didn't even get a picture of it before he totally destroyed it. To say that I was unhappy would qualify for the understatement of the decade. I couldn't even look at the man. As a matter of fact, when he came into the back yard the next morning, I had to leave. I had a strong urge to scratch his face off.
The owners, bless their icky little hearts, are not the most decisive folks. In fact, they are downright wishy-washy and irritating. They called three times last week to find out when their patio would be done. We told them that we needed 3 days without rain. One to tear out the existing patio, another to set up the forms, and a third to pour it. We told them the same thing every time they called. We also told them that if there is a forty percent or higher chance of rain that we do not pour. Do overs are bad...very bad. They simply couldn't understand why we couldn't tear it out in the rain. Well, if we tear it out, and it rains and fills it up with water, then we have to wait even longer for it to dry out. This they do not understand... what's wrong with a little mud? We did not try to explain the mysteries of concrete to them.... They would not get it, and it isn't worth the aggravation.
Next annoying thing, they decided they wanted a sidewalk then they didn't. Ok, no worries. We did not set up the sidewalk. As we were waiting on the mud to arrive, Annoying Man asked DH why the sidewalk was not set up. HUH?? DH said, uh, you said you didn't want it. AM said, Oh. Then he comes back five minutes later and says that they do want it. DH says OK, we will have to do it another day, because concrete will be here in 15 minutes. AM says OK. AM disappears again...reappears 10 minutes later and says they decided they didn't want it. Criminy people! Oh and this is rich. We told him we were worried about the chance of severe weather. AM has the balls to say: We are in no hurry. We can wait with "this mess" a while longer. Oh my dear lord. Someone hold me down or I will rip his ears off. This is the same AM that called THREE times the week previous to find out when his patio would be finished. The same AM who crushed my beautiful step.
My pimp hand is strong! It needs to be laid up side his head.
Anyway, the concrete arrived, and we poured the patio. The mud was a bit weird and bled a ton of water through the top, which made it too wet for us to stamp till about 3. The whole day were under a tornado watch, but the weather guessers had promised nothing falling until after five that evening. They were predicting dire amounts of large hail. Now, keep in mind that this concrete was still soft enough at 4:30 that if you stepped on it, you would sink up to your nalgas. This is not normal, and if we had known the concrete would be wonky, we wouldn't have poured that day with that chance of bad weather. There was no way to cover it up because it was so soft we could not walk out on it, and even if we could, it would have been soft enough that the plastic would have ruined the surface and provided zero protection against the promised golf ball sized hail. So, we were sweating the prospect of the hail beating the shit out of it before it got hard. Fortunately, the Karma gods decided that we had been punished enough for one day, and withheld the promised concrete death from above! YAY!!
Our only other worry was whether or not AM and his DW would stay off the patio. We warned them that if they walked on it within the next 24 hours that they would ruin it, and we would not fix it for them. They seem to have some instinctive urge to number one, not listen to a word we tell them, and number two, inspect minutely their back yard every single day. This would be fine if their unavoidable urge did not include the absolute need to use their back door. Fortunately for them, they did not walk on the patio. We did not commit any heinous acts on either of them.
How much would any of you like to bet that when we go back to clean and seal their job there is no sign of either of them the entire day? Of course they will be elsewhere, since we will be expecting a check, and they will not want to write one. We have a cure for that too. It's called a breaker...it works incredibly well, and the mere threat is enough to send a reluctant-to-pay customer running for their checkbook.
1 comment:
so did the idjits walk on it?
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