Satan invented fiber one bars

I am telling you, it's the truth. Fiber one bars are evil. You are supposed to eat them so that your gut stays happy. Well let me tell you, my gut had a party. It partied all day and all night. Of course, the party was thrown without my permission. If I'd have known what was going to happen, I never would have eaten the damn thing. I farted more in one day than in the last month. When you are out working on a job, the bathroom (portajohn) is often a long way away. Not to mention when it is freezing out, you wear your warm stuff, which is hard to get on and off. Both of those things make you not want to take a 1/4 mile walk just to let off some steam. It is frowned upon to rip off a big fart in a crowd of people, even on a construction site. So you have to go sit in your truck, or walk far enough away that nobody wants to put you under the concrete. Then there is the concern that when it is way below freezing, and you fart, does it make a big old foggy cloud so that everyone on the job *knows* you just ripped one off?? I mean really, how embarrassing is that? For all of these reasons, I will not eat another fiber one bar. They are yummy, but the benefit is outweighed by the unending amounts of gas they cause.

You can try it yourself if you like, but don't say I didn't warn you....