I just can't resist

Third time's a charm, and we all know how charming I am (is your tongue in your cheek? mine is!). I want you all to know that it is very hard being a Fairy Princess Concrete Finisher. My magic wand is a magnesium float that weighs about half a ton. Well, not really, but when I have floated 1000 square feet of concrete, it sure feels that heavy. I wish you could all be there to see me work. It must be fricking hilarious. The funniest thing I can imagine is watching me push this big old float out on a slab, and then being too short to pull it back. This happens because I usually work with two handles, which is 12 feet of reach. On bigger slabs, I have to add another handle which then makes eighteen feet. I forget to change the angle on the head to allow for the extra six feet of reach. My DH can pull it back easily... he is six feet tall. I am short, so I can't do it. This makes me cuss, using words that any sailor would be proud of! If I am lucky, there is some fool standing around watching that I can entice into reaching out and plucking the float off the slab. If not, then I tear a huge assed hole pulling it back, which I then get to go back and fix. (Rule #1 in concrete finishing... it ain't a fuck up if you can fix it) (Rule #2 is don't let the DH *see* you either screw up, or fix said screw up) Talk about pitching a bitch! It hurts my delicate ears!

After the finishing is done, then comes the stamping. Some stamping is easier than others. My late favorite is skins. These are big mats that have no borders on them. They are easy, since there are no lines to keep straight or worry about. They put down the texture when you walk on them. YAY! I love easy stuff. Here is a picture of two different colors using the same texture, and a close up of the texture.

My least favorite is the fishscale or Euro Cobble pattern. I make the hubby charge extra for this one. The damn tools are gigantic, and they are the hardest to line up and keep straight. I think they weigh about 40 lbs each. Imagine picking it up and putting it down 100 times in 113 degree heat. Fun huh?? Here is a pic of the Euro Cobble. It's pretty, but dang! Aren't the steps cool?

I think my second favorite pattern is the Yorkstone Slate. There are a ton of tools in this set and they fit together in increments. Each tool is separate, so no two jobs are ever identical, because it is almost impossible to duplicate the set exactly. They start at 6" x 12" and go up to 42" x 42". The colors used can drastically change the look from sandstone to slate. If you go in and hand tint, it is incredible. We used this pattern for an historic restoration project on the Marland Mansion in Ponca City. It was an awesome job.

Just so you don't think my job is all sweetness and light, there are some serious hazards to being a FPCF. One of these hazards is the dreaded concrete pump. We *hate* the pump. It is a dirty, dangerous piece of equipment. Unfortunately, sometimes we simply have no choice but to use one. This project was the roof of the library at Tulsa University. There was no way we could get a mixer to it, and we couldn't hardly expect our poor crew to wheelbarrow 14 thousand square feet. Talk about murder by concrete. Here is a picture of a concrete pump.

In order to use a pump, you must first prime it. This means you have to order a yard of grout from the concrete company. Grout is basically watered down concrete without any rocks, and it sort of greases the inside of the hoses to make the concrete pass. Sorta like those fiber pills my DH chokes down! HA! Anyway...after you have lubed the hose, then you start pumping the concrete through the system. This is great, until you have to stop. On this particular job, we had to stop a lot, since the pours were all 8 foot by 8 foot. Now every time you stop the pump, you risk a clog. Then you have the excitement of running up and down the hose with a sledge hammer pounding on it, trying to break up the clog. If this doesn't work, then you disconnect the hoses piece by piece till you find the clog and dump it out. Unfortunately sometimes there is a defective hose, and when the pressure builds up, it can explode. This actually happened to us on the TU job. I shudder to think what would have happened if any of us had been standing next to that hose. It shot rocks at least 75 feet, and was so explosive that concrete actually wrapped around the round light fixtures. It was terrifying, and gave me a whole new respect for the danger involved. I have no doubt that it would have been deadly had anyone been any closer than 50 feet.

At the end of each day, you have to take the hoses apart and wash out each section. What a pain! Not to mention the monumental mess the pump itself makes. It spews concrete everywhere, and guess who gets to clean that up? Certainly not the pump jockey, or the mixer driver...

FIRE!!!

Ok, not really. This is one of the reasons I don't mind getting up early.

If I wasn't a FPCF, I would miss out on sunrises like this!