I think most people have absolutely no idea what goes on after they die. They believe, thanks to commercials that tell them so, that if they have a will, everything will be hunkey dorey and it will all be good. Well, I am here to tell you that is a big fat lie. Even if everything is spelled out, you still have to go to court. You have to ask permission to fart. You have to make sure that anyone and everyone who might possibly have a claim, all the way back to cave-man days knows that your loved one died. You have to send out notices... notice I typed notice(s). Plural. And for every notice you send out - heirs, debts, other claims, newspapers, and on and on, you have to wait. You have to wait to give any of the bloodsuckers who wouldn't otherwise come forward to get off their dead asses and come to the hearing that involves them. If for any reason, the notices are not right (up to and including simple typo's), then you must get a continuance, and set another court date. Do not ask me how I know this, just know that I do know. Once you finally get all the papers right, then you have your day in court. This takes all of 5 minutes, and requires that you sign a paper.
All of the above is just so that you can get to be appointed the executor (Personal Representative) of the estate. Now comes the fun stuff. Going through all of the stuff. You know, the stuff the person left behind. Their life. If you are like me, this is the worst thing you have ever done. You have to decide to throw stuff out. You have to decide what to sell, and what to keep, and you have to play referee to everyone who wants stuff. When all the stuff is gone, then you start on the house. For me, this was the most difficult thing. The house was where my mother lived. Selling it is severing the last physical tie to my mother. Knowing that someone else will be living there, and perhaps changing everything about it is difficult at best.
I thought nothing would be harder than making the decision to call a realtor and put the house on the market. Boy, was I wrong. I thought that you just called a realtor, and sold the stupid house. Ahahahaha!! Notice the slightly hysterical edge to the laughter? Well, that is because what should be a very simple thing (to my way of thinking) has turned out to be a huge assed mess. You have to get *permission* from the court to sell the house. Then you have to show them the offer, and tell them that it is the best offer you are likely to get. If they think so, they approve the sale. But wait... you have to notify the heirs (that you have already gone to court over like 12 times) that you are selling it. Then wait. Then inform them that the court says you can (then wait some more). Then you get approval to approve the sale.
We have had a few setbacks. The judge is new to this type of law, and is a by the letter (forget the book) person. If something is not right, instead of changing it there, we have to have a do-over. It is insane I tell you. If we can get the latest paper resolved, then we are ready to close on the house. After that, we will have to go to court over another part of the estate, and cannot distribute the funds until that is settled. I am going to assume it will be as big a mess as the last part was, so I don't see winding the whole thing up for several more months.
So, when you do the right thing, and make a will to let the world know where everything goes, just know that you have done the easy part. Try to keep everything simple and clear. Make sure that you have done all the things you need to do, painful as it is for you to face your mortality. You will save your executor a lot of heartbreak. And for those of you who know you will be an executor, find yourself an excellent attorney. Ask questions. Surf the net, and find out what is going to happen. I was so naive, and it has made me this _close to being insane, and it ain't over yet...
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