Is it good... or is it bad?

So I am sitting here minding my own business, surfing, playing borbs, and reading email. I check new mail and someone has sent me an email from youtube. I get one occasionally saying how cool the Baxman is. Of course, I already know he's cool, but confirmation from an outside source is always welcome :)

So anyways, this one is a bit different. It's from a guy in Mexico. He wants to know if the Baxman is for sale. Well, they say every horse is for sale. So, being the smartass that I am, I write him back and ask what he wants him for. He writes back and says to ride, have fun with, and breed to his mares. So I write him back and say that it would be really difficult to do that since he is a gelding. I told him how big he was, blah blah blah. So he writes back and asks how much. I smartassed back and said $200,000 cash US. :)

So he writes back (the other emails were in broken english - this time in spanish) and says basically that this is outrageous and he can't spend $200K on one horse. He does say however, that if it was $20K, he would buy him. Anyone who knows me very well knows that $20,000 is my buy it now price for the Baxman. So I thought about it, and wrote back and said I would take $25,000 cash US.

Some of my horsey friends think this is a scam. I don't know if it is or not. It does not have any of the usual things that scams have. Number one, I did not put him up for sale. Number two, he has not offered me some outrageous sum of money, with extra for his "shipper" or any of that nonsense. Third, I have checked out *his* youtube page, and he has some very nice horses, either Lusitanos or Andalusians. He apparently also breeds aztecas. So this guy has money, if he is for real.

I called the woman who bred Baxter. She knows that he is my heart horse. I told her about the exchange, and she said I should sell him. As much as I know I would bawl like a baby, I know she is right. $25,000.00. It's a stupid amount of money. Outside of our mortgage, we would be totally debt free with some left over. I have told other people in the past that they were stupid for turning down big sums of money for their horses. It really is a once in a lifetime offer (if it's legit) for someone like me. He could die tomorrow.

If it is legit, I am afraid Baxter will be moving to Mexico. I think I want to vomit.

Three years... and a month

Time flies... and drags.

Three years, one month, and a few days ago, my mother died.

I have had a lot going on over the last three years. Way too much responsibility and stress. It seems like one thing gets fixed and two more rear up.

I suppose that this must be delayed grief. Sure, when she passed away I cried. I picked up the phone to call her a dozen times. I delayed and delayed going through her things, and fixing up the house so it could be sold. All the things people do when they don't want to believe their mother isn't coming back.

After all that was finished, and the estate was closed out, I thought I was done. Apparently, I am not. Lately I find myself longing to speak to her. I miss her. I want to hug her and hold her hand. Wash her hair and polish her fingernails.

I clearly see in my mind the last time I was with her. I am glad that I got to say goodbye, but I almost wish I had not gotten there when I did. My final memory of her is not a good one. She was lying in a hospital bed staring blindly at the ceiling, gasping for breath. I held her hand and told her that I loved her. I don't think she heard me. I don't know. Maybe she did. I was the last of her children to arrive at the hospital, and she died five minutes after I left her. I can still hear her breathing, her body desperately struggling to live. I have awful dreams about it. I have a hard time sleeping for days after I have that dream.

I find myself filled with remorse for not recognizing that in her later years, after most of her friends had died, that she was lonely. We are so busy all the time, and our work is exhausting, and it was easy for me to think that my brother and sister were taking care of her. They were taking care of her, but they were not enough. I realize now that she needed more. I should have done more. I suspect much of why I miss her so much now is guilt and regret. I usually don't engage in either of these. I think they are wasted emotions. I try to live in a way that doesn't leave room for that type of thing. Now suddenly in the last few weeks, they are blooming like an ugly flower. Ugh. I suppose this is one of the stages of grief delayed. Walled off since she died, and buried under responsibility.

I will work through this. I just miss her...still.

Fat Boy has a Sofa Back!

I am just pretty excited and pleased with my boy!

When I first got there today to feed, he was playing hide and seek. They were both up by the building next door eating grass. When they saw me they started for the gate. Susie kept coming, but Baxman went around to the other side of the hill and proceeded to "hide". This monster 16.2 hand 1500 pound horse actually stopped by a tree, and then sidled around until his head was hidden. Then he peeked out to see if I was looking at him. I about fell down laughing.

After I convinced him that he really wasn't hidden, I went up to the feeders and put out the slop. They ate, and I went to get them some hay. After that, I got my camera and took some more pictures. Susie is looking very good if I do say so myself. She is 25, and has some issues with her teeth, and is picky eater, so keeping her in good weight is a chore. I am pleased with her. The vet said she is perfect. He did not say the same thing about Fat Boy. *sigh* Here is Susie. She is almost black right now. She has dapples that don't show up very well here, but they're there. She is my sweetheart!

So after they ate, Fatboy, er, Baxter came over and wanted a scrub. He would turn is big fat self inside out to get a good scratch, and he drools whenever the rake makes an appearance. No rake today, but I thought I'd scratch him a bit anyway. While I was scrubbing on his belly, I thought it would be fun to see what he did if I got up on the old water tank and stood over him. Once he figured out that he would not get scratched unless he was standing next to it, he stood there and would not move. I got up on it and scratched him. He closed his eyes and heaved what can only be a sigh of ecstasy. So I reached over his back to scratch his opposite shoulder. He flicked an ear and "listened". I kept scratching and he went back to sleep. So, I put both hands on his back and put a lot of my weight on them. He listened again, and thought about leaving, but the lure of sharp fingernails digging into his fat pads won over and he went back to sleep. I scratched for a few more minutes. Then, I leaned over his back and scratched his girth area. Dear Lord. He kept sleeping. Then I put one leg up on his back. Nothing. Not even a flick. I have always had issues with slab sided horses. They don't take up enough of my leg (I have long legs for my size). I do not need to worry about that with this boy. Looking down on his back from above reminds me of a Lazy Boy lounge chair. If I could get him to stand still, I could sleep up there.

I believe that as long as he is being scratched, you could probably put him in a pot of boiling oil and he would sleep through it. Maybe... just *maybe* starting him will be a non issue. Joleen has always thought it would be, but she has not seen some of his shenanigans, so I had my doubts. After today, I am beginning to believe her. Man I hope so. I would be very happy if that were the case. I really need some good things to happen....

Goodbye Headaches, Heartburn, and the Desire to Choke the Living Crap out of Someone

Finally, the saga ends.

Let me back up and begin at the beginning. I was looking for a place to keep my horses. They are very important to me, and a safe place was number one on my list of things to look for. A friend of mine steered me to a place relatively near my home. I went with her to look the place over and meet the manager. I have to say that in looking for an affordable place to keep horses close to the city, the place was the best one I had seen so far. That's not to say it was perfect, but after looking at it, I decided that with a small investment I could make it safe enough. The manager seemed to be a good person, with a genuine interest in horses, and the people who owned them. So based on what I saw and heard, I gave him a check to hold the private pasture I'd been shown until my horses could be trailered in.

The next thing was to get some sort of shelter built for them. The pasture was just a 3 acre plot with no shed or barn. I found someone selling those portable car ports, and had seen someone convert one to a run in shed for a good price, so I ordered one. After many delays, we finally got it up and ready.

Then I set about making the fencing safe for my old lady and the deaf two year old that was her partner in crime. I bought and installed t-post toppers and electric wire. Just about that time is when things started being -not- what I had been promised. The first thing to go haywire was access to electricity for a fence charger. Suddenly, I was not allowed to use the electric outlet near my pasture because it would be "too much of a draw on it". Hmmmm. OK. So, I go out and buy a solar charger that costs three times what the regular plug in variety costs. I guess that's ok, because it is for the safety of the horses, right?.

Then there was the promise of a break on board in return for the run in shed we were building staying on the property whenever we left. That would have been great, but there was never a discount on the bill. Hmmmm, guess he changed his mind. No problem, I will just take it with me when I leave.

So, then the horses came, and for a while all was well. I had told the manager that Baxter was deaf, and if he needed to be in my pasture for any reason, he needed to call me and I would come out and put the horses up so he could do whatever was needed. Apparently the manager is selectively deaf, because a short time later I drove up and found him brushhogging my pasture with my horses loose, and Baxter was following the tractor with his nose virtually on top of the mower deck. OMG!!! I ran out and caught the horses up, and locked them in the small feed area. Then I told the manager that I had asked him not to do that and he said he couldn't find my number... Uh, yeah. Sure you couldn't. Because of this, I went and spent more money, this time on locks and chains so that he would *have* to call me. I also wrote all my contact info, including work, home and cell numbers down for him again.

A couple of months later, I drove up to my pasture to find that my locks had been cut off and the pasture had been mowed down to dirt. Ok, now I am pissed off. Not a little, but a lot. I called and got voice mail and left a scathing message. No return call. So my brilliant solution was to find a lock and chain that the jerk couldn't cut off. I also told him that I did not want him to mow my pasture any more, that I would pay someone else to do it. That ended that particular little problem.

On to the next bitch. Arrived to feed one weekend morning. Susie was in the pasture, but Baxter was not! Lovely. I found him in the stallion lane between my pasture and the one that the resident stallion lives in. The stallion had grabbed Baxter by the throat, and nearly killed him. After I caught Baxter and put him up, I started looking for the escape route. That was when I found that either the manager had removed the back fenceline from my pasture, or there had never been one to begin with. The very back of my pasture was thick woods, and the horses never went into them. I had (stupidly I guess) there surely there must be a fenceline back there, but no there wasn't. So I strung a line of step in posts with hot tape for a temporary fence until I could get some t-posts. By this time I had found that asking the manager to do anything always got the same response. "Oh yes, I will take care of that". Unfortunately he never got around to it, and this was crucial. I bought t-posts and a pounder thingy. I put half of them in and strung the hot tape on them. I left the rest of them by my feed room to do later that week. When I got ready to finish, I found that the t-posts were gone!!! I thought, great the manager finished it for me. Uh no. He had taken the t-posts that I bought and put them in the stallion's fence line!!!! ARGGGGGGG!!! Bought more t-posts and finished my fence. I am starting to really loathe this guy by now...

The next issue was when the manager decided that my pasture needed "cleaning up". So he goes in with his tractor and cuts down the brushy area at the front. This was covering up a spring that stayed wet most of the year. So the manager (from here forward referred to as "the jerk") gets his box blade and proceeds to try to "stop" the spring from being a spring. All he succeeded in was getting the damn thing stuck in my pasture. So, I put up some more step in posts to keep Baxter from killing himself on the stinking thing. It was stuck in my pasture for 2 weeks. Finally it dried out enough for the jerk to get it out. Then he comes in with a chain saw and starts cutting stuff down. That would have been fine with me, except he also took down the temp fence and left stubs sticking out all over the place. The VERY FIRST thing Baxter did was go down in that freaking mess and puncture his foot, breaking his coffin bone. Furious does not begin to describe my feelings at this point. Between vet bills, bandage materials, and fencing supplies it cost me over $1500, and I am still not sure Baxter will ever be sound for riding. The urge to beat the snot out of the jerk was almost overwhelming.

The scariest thing that happened in the three years I had my horses there was when some idiot let Baxter out of the pasture and shut the gate behind him. It happened at night, and of course I didn't find him missing till the next day. I was in a panic. My big 1400 pound deaf horse was missing. I was positive someone stole him. After much frantic searching, I finally found him at the far end of the property. Thank God he was fine. This apparently happened because the jerk had pissed off some former boarders who supposedly would sneak on the property at night and either take down fences, or let horses out. I got more chains and locks, and locked both sides of every gate accessing my pasture. I also put up a step in fence inside the regular fence. Funnily enough, Baxter did not "get out" again.

The final two things that pushed me over the edge were the stallion getting loose and grabbing Baxter again, and the jerk driving right by a black horse that was loose on the property at 5:30am and going out the open gate without stopping or closing the gate. If he will drive by that horse in the dark and leave without even trying to catch it or shut the gate, then he would drive by mine too. The single most irresponsible thing I have ever seen done around horses. I closed the gate when I left. I didn't try to put the horse away, because I had no idea which pasture it belonged in. Supposedly, someone was coming in again and unplugging the stallions electric fence. I have no idea if that is true, but I do know that the stallion attacked Baxter again, and that was it!

All of these things really happened, but were just the worst of it. There were constant annoyances like loose horses mugging you at feeding time. Loose horses getting *in* my pasture and kicking my horses. Starving horses with no food or water if I didn't feed them and fill their tanks. Horses getting loose and getting hit by cars, or impaling themselves on t-posts or injured in fences, and on and on ....

I found a new pasture. I had driven by it every day for the last 2+ years on the way to feed the horses, but it was occupied. Then I noticed it was empty, and I stopped to ask about it. It was the same price as the bad place, and only 3 miles from our office and 7 miles from home! I was lucky to find it. It is safe, close, good grass with a barn, feed room, and arena, *and* there are no stallions to break in or out and try to kill my baby boy!

Thank goodness I found it. It's a huge relief to know my horses are safe.

I have a secret.

I can't tell yet, but it's a very very good thing. I am so excited. It will be such a great thing when it's done. Hoo-ray! I can't wait.................

My little pony...not.

I do not own a pony, yet when I drove up to my "private" pasture yesterday, lo and behold. It's a miracle. Either Susie, or Baxter has given birth to a fully grown pony! Wow! There she stood by my water tank. Neither of my horses were in sight, just this little appy pony.

Ok, here comes trouble on 8 legs. Baxter and Susie had been in the barn and Susie heard my truck, so here they come. Baxter sees the pony and trots on... he wants to play with her. Susie on the other hand has a strong desire to corner and kill the poor little thing. This pony actually sort of lives outside my pasture. She is badly foundered, and majorly crippled. She can barely walk on a good day, and now Susie is running at her, trying to pen her in the corner so she can kick the snot out of the poor girl. The pony, whose name is actually Angelica, was frantically looking for a way out. She tried the hot tape and got shocked so she just stood there and shook. I yelled at Susie and she walked off to mean mug from a distance and pout. Baxter left with her.

I tried to coax the pony to come out the gate. No way Jose'. She was terrified that Susie would get her. No way was she moving out of that corner. I had to go shut off the hot tape and find a lead rope. Once I caught her, she was happy to follow me out of the gate into the area where my feed room is. I had to climb back through the fence to get my keys and unlock the outer gate to let her out. She was happy to exit the premises.

I have no idea how she got in my pasture. The fence (such as it is) was all in place, and the hot tape was on. I am just thankful that Susie didn't maim her, and Baxter didn't play her to death. She is a sad little thing. Whoever owns her doesn't seem to care that she runs loose. Of course she is so crippled that running is a figure of speech, and she stays close to my pasture because I throw her a handful of alfalfa when I feed. I wish I could afford to have her feet done, but I can't save them all.... Poor girl.

What would you do?

Ok, here's the situation...

It's 5:30am. It's freaking dark in the country at 5:30am. The main gate is open, so you drive up to the pasture where your horses are boarded. You see the little crippled pony mare who lives outside your pasture. You also see the stallion that lives in the next pasture, when he isn't tearing down the fence to get out and breed random mares, and try to kill your gelding. Then you see something big. And black. And it's coming at your truck! Holy Mother!! Oh, it is a loose horse. You don't recognize it at all. Well.... isn't that special? (church lady) The biggest problem is that the horse is *very* friendly. So friendly in fact that you can't get out of the truck because it is sticking it's vaguely moose-like face in your window. Thank goodness the foundered pony mare thinks you are her property because she actually drives the moose...er horse away.

So you get out, unlock your gate, and hurry through with your feed buckets. Check your horses over for boo-boos and feed them. Go back out the gate and carefully lock it, making sure your fence charger is turned on to the "fry the sucker" position and run to your truck to put the feed buckets back before any of the loose equines can mug you for grain. Use your spotlight to see where the meandering intruder is so you don't get mowed down, and watch him wander around looking lost.

In the mean time, a truck has driven past the pasture and left through the open gate... someone going to work I suppose. Next you see the barn manager coming up from the direction of the house. About 100 yards away he slows down and finally stops because he sees that you are shining your bazillion candle power spot light on something... Oh he says to himself, it's a horse. So he sits there for a few seconds watching the horse. Then what do you suppose he does? What would you do?

Would you:

A: Sit and stare at the horse hoping it's a dream and you will wake up.

B: Get out and see if the horse belongs here and return it to it's pasture, and if it doesn't live here, put it someplace safe so it doesn't get hit by a car or worse.

C: Stop and ask your boarder to catch and put up loose horse because you are late for work.

D: Shrug and drive off, leaving the gate open because you just don't give a shit.

Now hazard a guess at what was actually done. If you selected option D, you were correct. Drive off and leave a loose black horse wandering around in the dark, because you really don't give a shit if it gets out and causes an accident, possibly killing whoever hit it. After all, there is someone there who pays for the privelege of boarding at your top notch facility... they can catch the horse, or close the gate right? It's not your problem, is it?